J. Earnest was in the backseat of the Vista Cruiser headed back to the school building.It had been so long since Earnest encountered the Elementary schoolenvironment that his only memory of it was a faded hazy nostalgia soakedfantasy. This crowded cacophonous throng of children was almost like aToilet paper sale in the Soviet Union.This was elementary school. That meant that there was just ONE class andEarnest would spend six hours off and on in it pretending to learn thingshe already knew, such as how to read, how to do math and how to write.During attendance, the teacher had to call a name three times beforeEarnest realized that 'Becky Mathews' was actually him.The first subject was letters. The teacher taught the class how eachletter sounded and the difference between capital and lower case. Earnestsat where he was and pretended to go along with the rest of the class. Heunderstood far more than was being taught, but feigned ignorance to avoidundue notice. That was until Mrs.. And even he wasn't above a good cursing if I was in the mood. Maybe we could just talk around the Holiness business."His Holiness visited me today in the utmost secret so that we could talk over our differences," Bob said. "I've sent my family away, which is why my daughter is unavailable to explain about your, uh, fish." That's okay," I smiled, making myself comfortable on the couch. "This is much more interesting." His Holiness was telling me of rumors similar to what you just told me, Jason," Bob explained. "I confess that I'm stunned by the whole thing. Can I get you something to drink?"I looked over to see at the tall glass on the table beside the Pope. It looked like a Sprite with lime."Whatever the Pope's having," I smiled. Bob returned with a similar glass for me and asked me to start at the beginning. I took a healthy gulp — and started coughing."What the hell is this?" I gasped."Double gin and tonic," Bob said. "Just like His Holiness has. Wasn't that what you wanted?" I.
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